Wednesday, April 16, 2003

 
mood: senti.
thought: my dad is going to kill me when he gets my celfone bill for this month...
wish: i wasn't so moody.
today someone said: margie sometimes scares me. it's like you don't want her to get her pissed or else you're going to regret it!
roommate's response: yeah she is but she's also a pussycat when she really likes you. Just when you think you know her, she surprises you. And she only releases her wrath on those who deserve it.
my response: me? but i'm so nice! who can be scared of little ol' me? heehee

I really don't know when people started considering me "scary". I've been moody all my life but I guess no one thought I'd ever fight back - being this short little thing...then you go into the corporate world. All naive and thinking that if you're good to people, they'll be good to you. Wake up call. Some realize they can possibly put one over you. So one day, you figure nobody should step on anybody! Nobody should use other people for their selfish needs. So i learned to fight back.

Pet peeves: bullies. unfairness. liars and cheats. picking on someone who doesn't know any better.

This is when I get mad. This is when I fight back. But my roomate was right. And she's known me since high school. She even remembers in high school when people could pick on me and bully me all the time. Including her! Now she's in shock seeing me after over 10 years later. Only now our friendship can be built on mutual respect. But don't get me wrong. I'm not a bully and explode without being provoked. My fury is only a reaction to something done. Never is it the initial action.

I think joey has been a big factor in showing me that you shouldn't be angry all the time. He reminds me that I need to control myself. I still have a lot to learn but hey, everyone needs some time to grow up right?

I read somewhere that there are stages in getting over someone. I think it should be used to getting over ANY kind of pain...
first there is sadness...crying, bawling all night
then denial
then anger
then...you let it go.

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